Have you ever met doing a thousand things so as not to be alone?
Do you stay with people you do not care or do not contribute anything because you are afraid of loneliness?
What do you fear most?
For a long time I tried to avoid loneliness at all costs.
But I have an excuse:
When I was little my parents work in a grocery store. They went in the morning and returning at night. Even there were nights that also went to buy fruit to Mercabarna, so really, not that I feel alone, is that, at the time, WAS alone.
Well, I lie, my dog Queen, That kept me company, whew!
The fact is that he took a dislike to that of being alone and in my youth, I managed to have many “friends” or known with which to meet at any time.
What’s your excuse?
All have fled, sometimes, of ourselves
I fled because I dread the meeting with myself.
If I was alone, thoughts assail me things I did not like about me, about my relationships or my life.
And deal with all these thoughts and feelings were too much for me.
I did not know how to tackle them, or how, so if I amused myself being with someone, and avoided my uncomfortable feelings.
I remember coming to get my social agenda so full, when a friend told me to stay, he proposed one day, after 2 weeks.
And you, why are you running?
How far can you go?
If you are afraid of loneliness, you may be able to get to do things, or meet people who do you like, or you are interested or even with those who do not share their values, but you save your personal encounter.
You can also fill work or activities, for not having a spare minute, and come home so exhausted that all you feel like is going to sleep and not think about anything.
And nothing happens, all we have done.
But there comes a time when even you get tired of having to always do things, being with people, working hard or pending the outside.
At this point, we could say that you’ve hit bottom.
The encounter with the same
The first time I had an encounter “with me,” cried the meeting of excitement and sadness, having been so long without wanting to hear from me.
Because when you are able to be yourself, never again you become to feel alone. Because you’re you, and you no longer afraid of loneliness.
For me, the encounter with means recognizing, at least two parts within.
You can call them as you like: head and heart, right brain and left brain, and part adult girl or, as he calls Gestalt therapy, the top dog and underdog … you choose.
But there is always a part of you that wants some things, and that “talks internally” with that other part of you that wants others.
Are you with me?
For example, there is the part of you that says it wants to meet someone, and the other party or another thought, which tells you who is exhausted and needs rest.
If you are aware of the conversation that is generated in your mind, then, you may negotiate something that both parties feel they should.
For example, it could be out for a while to take something closer to home, and go early to bed. Or, go to bed to rest today, and leave the next day.
The problem comes when loneliness scares you
Because then, there is no negotiation possible.
In any situation involving be alone with you, your choice will always be the opposite.
But I ask you, how long will you be running away from you?
What do you avoid?
Believe me when I tell you that if you simply stop and stay with you, you can start a relationship that can become, in the best of the world.
You not need it anymore.
Besides, can you imagine being with someone who understands you perfectly? Who knows exactly how you feel and what you need … it’s the bomb.
Of course, first you might have to go through some uncomfortable feelings.
But the sooner the passes, the sooner you can get to have a wonderful relationship with you.
Do not think more
Aim to meet with you, at least 1 time a week.
You must give space to listen, to take care, to pamper yourself, to meet your needs and desires, to mourn if necessary or angry if what comes to you.
But above all, to give that space where you begin to build the best relationship you’ll have in your life, yours.
Are you still thinking you afraid of loneliness?
I hope not.
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