If your relationship ended tomorrow, would you know what broke you up?
Your relationship may be going through a good time right now, or it may not.
The point is that, if you want to avoid having to ask yourself that question, it’d be good to question certain things about your relationship from time to time.
Just like you take your car to get tuned-up, sometimes couples need the same thing.
Do you know why a relationship that works can suddenly, in a short time, stop working?
I better explain this with a story…
I always fell in love quite easily.
My grandmother used to tell me that I fell out of love as soon as I fell in love.
So “true” love was slow to arrive.
I was 27 when I “truly” fell in love (for the fourth time).
And that love was reciprocated.
At the beginning of the relationship, I couldn’t be happier.
We were both in love
and everything was lovely.
We spent time together
We planned things together…
We loved being with each other,
And we valued that a lot.
What more could we ask for?
So, after a while,
we decided to move in together.
Adapting to living together was a bit hard.
We had different values regarding what we considered important, but,
To me,
that “didn’t matter”.
(or so I thought).
Over time,
We started arguing over house cleaning.
Then came the discussions about work.
And later, money.
So without realizing,
We stop prioritizing the relationship.
And it began to deteriorate.
In my naivety
I believed that love could conquer all…
And yet, we argued a lot.
I first sought professional help for myself.
Then for both of us (even though I had a hard time convincing him that we needed it)
And in my last desperate attempt I told him we should “break up” to see if that made him “react” (by losing me)
In my happy world
our love was so great that I couldn’t allow anything to come between us.
I was so mistaken…
I’m sure you already know the end of this sad story.
After 5 years and after many disappointments, the relationship ended.
But by that time, I hadn’t understood the importance of dedicating
time,
money, and
energy
to your relationship.
And one of the main mistakes that couples make is taking for granted that the other will “always be there”
Without prioritizing the relationship,
Without dedicating the required time and space.
Without working to improve what doesn’t work.
That’s a huge mistake.
And a lot of relationships can be ruined because of these silly things,
Even without you noticing it.
If you want to fine-tune your relationship or solve some things that don’t quite work…
I’ll explain some of the things that you can achieve if you follow a couple’s therapy process with me:
- Even if each goes their own way, I’ll explain you how you can align your objectives and collaborate to achieve them.
- The mistake that most couples make when talking about sexual relationships.
- The key to stop “misinterpreting” your partner’s actions.
- David speaks on a content level, Patricia speaks on an emotional level. If you can’t speak on the same level as your partner, I can assure you that you’ll argue a lot. I will teach you the exact formula so that you can both speak at the same level.
Sometimes it’s easier to believe that you’ll do better with another partner, than work on what doesn’t work with the one you have.
- A technique to learn and grow, observing what bothers you about your partner.
- Everything you need to know to increase your self-esteem and have it positively affect your relationship.
- The best way to put your guilt aside when you need to ask your partner for something.
- Monica assumed a certain role in her relationship until she couldn’t take it anymore. She suffered a lot and in the end it was useless. I’ll tell you how to avoid the rigidity roles in a relationship so that you don’t burden yourself with them.
Couple therapy doesn’t have to be the “last” desperate solution before leaving the relationship.
Remember that there are situations where the help of an external and objective person, may give new insights into the relationship.
- Everything you need to know to stop your relationship from becoming toxic, which I learned by being in one of them.
- An alternative to state what you think and how you think it, instead of attacking the other (as that often comes with anger and bad vibes), so you can discuss things from a different angle.
- Why if you don’t know how to increase your internal energy, your relationship may suffer or even deteriorate.
- The 3 things you need to negotiate when dividing home tasks to make a plan that works.
- Routine kills passion and many couples end up in a rut that slowly kills their relationship. I will give you resources so routine doesn’t take over.
Will therapy “fix” my relationship?
Couples therapy doesn’t work miracles.
And if there’s NO love, respect, and a desire to change what doesn’t work… I don’t think that any therapy will help if someone doesn’t want it.
Couples therapy works when both people are involved and determined to try something new.
But I’ll also add this.
I’ve dealt with couples who didn’t do well together.
They don’t know why, but their relationship is missing something, and when they come to me, they’re trying to find a solution.
Therapy not only helps you acknowledge what works, it also helps you clarify or even break down what no longer works.
If that’s your case, I’ll help you in that change, so you can gain clarity and make the decisions you’ve postponing for a while.
Leading you in whichever direction you need to go.
You have 3 options regarding the coaching/couple’s therapy service:
One Session (1 hour) – 90.-€
We will analyze your current situation (where you are) and your common objective (where you want to get)
We will evaluate what you’ve done so far to achieve it, and I’ll help you see it from a different perspective.
3 sessions pack – 255.-€
(the session costs 85.-€)
We will start from your current situation, what you want and what you’ve (unsuccessfully) done to achieve it.
We’ll block what doesn’t work and I’ll offer you some strategies/resources to guide you towards your goal.
5 sessions pack – 400.-€
(the session costs 80.-€)
Also starting from your current situation, what you want, what doesn’t work, and the blockages you’ve been facing.
We’ll employ different strategies and exercises to block what prevents you from moving forward.
And so, you can overcome your problem or achieve your objective, in the shortest possible time.
If you want to do a coaching/couple’s therapy service with me:
Frequently Asked Questions
How often are the sessions held?
Sessions can be done weekly, biweekly, or monthly.
Depending on the problem and the objective, we’ll agree on the best option for you.
Then between sessions, you’ll need to do some simple exercises to continue practicing what was agreed during the sessions.
When is a good time to seek couple’s therapy?
There can be many good times, such as:
- when you’re “not doing well” in your relationship (even if you don’t know why)
- when arguments have become more frequent
- when your sexual relationship has deteriorated
- when you’re not sure whether you want to continue with your relationship
- when you notice that you have fallen into the rut and want to regain the spark
- when you don’t agree on important things such as your children’s education, where to live or whether to have children… or things as simple as whether to go to the beach or the mountains, or to go for a walk or train…
Each couple is a world and if you consider that something or some area in your relationship needs some strategies or clarity, this is a good time.
What happens in a couple’s therapy session? What will we do during the session?
First, we’ll establish a common goal, the one that both members of the couple want to achieve.
Then we’ll investigate the strategies that have NOT worked, and we’ll block them.
After that I’ll give you some new strategies and resources that you’ll need to practice both in the sessions and between them to achieve the agreed objective.
We already went to couples therapy and it didn’t work for us, why is yours different?
I can’t guarantee that my therapy will work 100% for you, but I can say that I’ve met a lot of couples who go to the psychologist to “talk” and that doesn’t help them much.
I promise to speak less and “work” more and that’s why, both in my sessions and between them, we do simple exercises to “train” you to act differently, so you gain resources that can help you change what’s not working.
What if I buy a pack and don’t use all my sessions?
If you can’t use all the sessions in your pack, I’ll return the money for the ones we didn’t do.
Of course, that’s for ONE YEAR from the Pack’s date of purchase. Don’t come 3 years later ask for a refund.
Do you only do it online or do you also do it in person? Is the price the same?
I generally do it online, but sometimes, if you live in Barcelona or Stockholm, we may be able to do the session in person.
The price is the same online or in person, but it person, you’ll have to add the time and cost of commuting.
What do I need for the online session?
You’ll need a computer, mobile or tablet with an internet connection.
I usually use zoom for the online sessions.
I’ll send you a link to the room so you can connect on the agreed day and time.
If you haven’t installed zoom, you can follow the link to find instructions to download it.
Is it a good investment?
Either to improve what can be improved or to interrupt what doesn’t work, dedicating time and space to your relationship will allow you to create the type of relationship you want.
Your relationship is an important pillar for your life, if you neglect it, it collapses.
So, investing in your relationship is a way of “reviewing” and changing what doesn’t work.
I see it clearly, to me, it is a good investment, but I’m not in your shoes, so only you can make that decision.
I remind you of the 3 options:
One Session (1 hour) – 90.-€
You’ll have an external perspective of the blocks that may be affecting you.
3 sessions pack – 255.-€
We’ll establish the couple’s goal and we’ll block what is preventing us from moving on.
5 sessions pack – 400.-€
Once the situation is unblocked, we’ll talk about the strategies that will let you reach a common goal.
These are some comments from people I've worked with
Jose & Jose
“We have been going out for two and a half years, and we had a crisis moment, so we decided to go to therapy.
When we started the therapy, it was not clear what was the way to improve the relationship, but we were willing to do whatever that was necessary.
As soon as we met Miriam we knew that we had already take one of the first steps foward, being in the best hands.
As therapy went by, we had to open up gradually, but it wasn’t hard, because with her, we could feel in confidence.
The support we received in each session, from a special look till the onomatopoeia that she made as a mirror were so appropriate, that we could see in what we were failing.
In addition to the therapy, we had assignments outside the sessions, which helped us a lot.
To conclude we want to say that, now we understand each other more every day, the relationship is increasingly consolidated and thanks for the support that Miriam gave us in a very important moment of the relationship”.
