How many times you use “but” in your phrases?
According to Fritz Perls, creator of the Therapy Gestalt, everything that comes BEFORE “but”, remains annulled by this one.
For what if you say ” I would change, but I can not “, actually, the only thing that you are saying is ” I cannot “.
We have an excuse for everything
Especially, for that one that gives us laziness or that we do not like to do.
- This book seems to be interesting, BUT (it annuls said up to the moment) I do not have time to read (excuse) = I am not going to read (royal affirmation).
- I would like to see, BUT (it annuls the previous thing) I am very tied to stay (excuse) = do not want to stay or do not want to see my (royal affirmation)
- I would like to learn on this topic, BUT (it annuls the previous thing) I already have a certain age (it) (excuses) = I do not want to learn (royal affirmation)
It tries to create your own phrases with BUT, to see which goes out for you.
It is sure that you discover some phrases, that you are in the habit of saying to you habitually and, probably, some belief that could be limiting you.
You can not really or have stopped trying it?
They have said to us so often that we cannot, that is very difficult, that why but I cannot “. What if we are mad … .que, before the most minimal challenge, simply, we say ” I would like change, but I can not “.
There is Jorge Bucay’s story that I like much and that expresses very well this concept. In him, he speaks to us about a little elephant that fought and fought during a time, until one day got tired and allowed trying it.
I leave the link you to the story:
After listening to it, I want to ask something you:
When did you stop trying it?
When did you resign from your dream?
When you agreed your ” I can not “?
Changing ” I cannot ” for ” yes I want “
When we speak about things that yes you want, but that you have auto-become convinced, of that you cannot, it is the moment to change your false beliefs.
If really you think that you cannot, do the following questions to yourself:
¿What is what you would need to be able?
What lacking you?
What does exceed you?
Especially, do not put on the typical excuses…
- I lack time
( Organize better the day, get up more early, delegate some tasks to other persons, ask for help …)
- It is that already I am very major
(Major why? It searches for Internet and you will see the quantity of “major” persons who do things extraordinary ).
- It is very difficult to obtain it
It can, but will there be necessary to try it, not?
The excuses support us in our zone of comfort, give us a false safety, and keep us caught in our ” known life “.
To assume risks
Often, the most difficult task is to overcome the limitations that our own mind imposes on us.
Of ” I would like to change the same phrase, but I cannot ” already it is a limitation.
At the moment in which you give yourself clear track, you get rid of your false beliefs and you convince that it is possible to create in your life that one that you want, then, the opportunities they appear, the suitable persons arise in your life, and you find the resources necessary to carry out it.
And if really you assume the risk, after a time, you do not understand how you could be so much time paralyzed.
Nevertheless, to accept what yes you want in your life, it implies resigning what you do not want.
And in this step, there is another percentage of persons, that she remains clogged.
- I do not want to relate to this person because it does not contribute anything, but clearly, know her for so much time …
- I do not want this type of work, but clear, to form and to look for another work, which I do not even know if I am going to find, it gives me a stick …
- I do not want to be any more in this relation of pair, but and if I do not find another one and have to remain alone?
Notice, even being things that you do not want, you have thousand reasons to support them.
You have to choose
There is no other way.
You have to choose to do different things, to come to different results.
It is not possible to change doing the same thing as always.
It takes the responsibility of taking the course of your life, of choosing what you want and what not, and it changes the time that you dedicate to persons, situations or things that are not convenient for you, to focus yourself in what yes you are interested.
I am conscious that there are things that, though let’s not let’s want, we are going to have to do, at least, during some time.
But my question is:
Can you find a way of not doing it?
Of making something different?
Something that is aligned by your values and with what yes you want in your life?
Because the problem is that since we have excuses for everything, ultimately, we do not do anything. And we follow our life with the phrase with which we were initiating the post: ” I would like change, but I cannot “.
Do you go away when stays with this excuse for the rest of your life?
What are you going to do to change it?
Why do not you tell it to me across the comments of the blog?