Accept ambivalence as part of life, to stop agonizing over changes

Accept ambivalence as part of life, it is not easy.

How many times have you asked:

How you could change so quickly?

According to the dictionary, the psychological meaning of the word ambivalence is:

“Mood, temporary or permanent, in which there are two opposite emotions or feelings”

And today, I want to talk about ambivalence, like that uncertainty that life brings you, and you can generate many opposites and different feelings.

Is the move from a “good season” to a “slump” of another painful joyful event, a story that makes you feel like a flower blooming, to another, you feel you like a bucket of cold water.

In my life, I have always been through both.

I believe that everyone has lived on both sides.

The problem is when, on the bitter side, we begin to wonder:

What have I done to deserve this?

Or we torment us, thinking about how he could change everything so quickly, how well we were.

And the truth is that you have not done anything.

What happens is that life gives us lime and sand.

So when we question arises in our mind about the “why me?” Can answer us:

• That ambivalence is part of life
• That pain is the other side of pleasure, and that both exist
• That you have not done anything “wrong”
• And there are things in life that are not under our control

 

We can not change what life puts us ahead, but as I say, if our attitude changes.

To do this, I would like you to remember a few things:

1. You’ll spend good and bad times throughout your life, willy-nilly

You will feel positive emotions such as love, joy, joy, hope, optimism, kindness, positivity, enthusiasm, etc.

And you’re going to feel negative emotions such as pain, suffering, sadness, anger, contempt, impotence, despair, incomprehension…

Because there are many uncontrollable things in life.

unpredictable things.

Things that will never change.

But,

If you are able to accept ambivalence as part of life, then and only then, will have the possibility, despite whatever situation you’re going through, stop tormenting by the changes.

And from a deep acceptance, understanding that:

It’s all part of life in which we live

And, you simply have to experience it.

Like that story by Jorge Bucay said,

“This too shall pass”

 

2. Everything goes

Imagine life as a flowing river.

 

If the weather is rough, if it rains or thunders, the waters of the river will be more moves, perhaps dirty and drag everything in their path.

If, however, a sunny, peaceful day, the river will flow quiet, without force, he caressed the shore wherever he goes.

The same thing happens to us.

Faced with a painful situation, as the loss of a loved one, a broken relationship, a disabling disease … or sensitive personal situations.

How many times have you had the feeling like…

… step opening a dagger through your flesh, and come to your heart?

… the world was dark and nothing made sense?

.. you weren’t able to get out of bed and face the day?

…you carried on your back a heavy burden to hinder the progress in you?

At such times, it seems that the pain is endless.

Therefore, especially in those moments, it is important to remember, these magic words:

“Everything shall pass”

Because you have to know that everything will happen, no matter how painful it is, at this very moment.

You’ll come to feel happy, will you laugh, you’ll never be quiet …

And you have to say it, or write it and put it in a place where you can see it.

Lest we forget.

Everything happens.

And that means on the other side, the good, too shall pass.

Because situations change, emotions vary and life comes and goes.

So, enjoy your moment of success, joy, jubilation as part of the dance of life.

 

3. If you accept it, you’ll live normally

In all normal as possible, of course.

Ambivalence accepted as part of life, it makes and expects that swing.

You know you’ll spend a good season, and then, perhaps not so good.

 

You know, now you feel pain and perhaps tomorrow, pleasure.

And, not fight with what you have in front, not torment you for wanting to change what you can not, you just have to let go.

And as the prayer of serenity, Reinhold Niebuhr says.

“Lord, grant me the serenity to accept anything that can not change,

Strength to change what I can change, and

Wisdom, to appreciate the difference.”

 

Finally, I want to tell you that it is easier to say, I do.

But you have to try, you have to implement it.

And, if you get not alone, I am here to help you.