Have you ever wondered why you can’t get what you want?
What’s an empty wish?
A wish is a necessary condition, but it ISN’T enough to get what you want.
Wishing, imagining, planning in your mind… that’s the beginning, it’s the image or scenario that motivates you to move forward, but…
What happens if you only stay with the images, the desire, but DON’T act?
Well, that desire remains empty, because:
- There’s NO commitment on your part
- You HAVEN’T even considered the first steps you need to take
- You keep telling yourself that you don’t have what it takes to fulfill your wish
So there’s NOTHING backing your wish.
It is an empty wish.
It’s like lighting a fire and expecting it to keep you warm even when you AREN’T doing anything to keep it burning.
Do you have empty wishes?
The difference between an “empty” and a “full” wish
An empty wish is a longing, an illusion that WON’T necessarily come with an action.
It’s thinking: “how I’d love to…” to them dismiss the idea because it’s impossible or too complicated.
A full wish, includes large doses of:
- Time, money, energy investment…
- Small and large actions
All that SUSTAINS and fills your desire. It is the lumber that feeds the fire of your desire.
In addition to the conviction that you’ll do what it takes to get what you want, that is, that you’ll pay any price to make your wishes come true.
Of course, this doesn’t guarantee success, but it does give you the chance to get what you want.
Seal your commitment
Once your desires are full, you need to commit to them.
Sealing a commitment means acting and taking the first steps towards your desire
Here’s a small exercise:
- Choose something small you want to happen in the next 2 days.
- Complete it as much as you can.
- Take 3 small IMMEDIATE steps that will seal your commitment.
Those small actions can be, for example:
- explaining your commitment to someone
- making a call
- sending an email
- making a list of the resources you have
- making an appointment
The important thing about these actions is that they’ll reinforce your commitment.
It’s a way to fuel the fire of your desire.
Difficulty to act
I know that sometimes, you want but can’t.
In that case, here are some questions that may help you reflect:
1. Do you know what you need to do to get what you want?
If you do, do it now. DON’T postpone it. (You already know the 3 immediate actions).
If you don’t:
- Find information and read everything you can about it
- Ask or find information about how other people achieved it
- Ask for help if you need it
- Train yourself if necessary
As I said before, you need to pay the price.
2. You know what you need to do, but feel emotionally blocked?
An emotional block could be related to yourself or to another person.
Do you know who?
Whatever the case, what emotion is keeping you from moving forward or has blocked you?
You’ll need to do some emotional work to keep going.
You’ll need to learn to manage your emotions.
3. You know what you want, but can’t keep it?
Then we have a constancy problem.
Acting can be easy or hard, but maintaining an action will require giving up on some stuff.
To be able to go to the beach, you have to give up the mountains.
You can’t have it all, or do everything at once.
You need to choose.
What do you choose?
If you aren’t getting what you want, perhaps you aren’t choosing what suits you best?
4. Do you know what you want, but can’t manage the consequences if your wish actually came true?
Your wishes could oppose the wishes of someone who is important to you (your partner, your children, your family…), and this prevents you from acting.
You’ll need to talk to the people involved, to find alternatives and reach agreements.
If you can’t get what you want, it may be “only” because you have empty wishes, and nothing else.
Be that as it may, you need to remember this equation:
Whatever your wish is, seal your commitment, and act!
You know these things but may forget them.
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