When you want to be treated well, because those around you don’t, you may want to ask yourself:
How do you treat yourself?
You have a personal value, you are a jewel, so to speak, and yet, many times you forget and behave as if you were cheap jewelry.
That is, you behave as if you weren’t worth anything.
Have you ever wondered why you do this?
Or, maybe I should ask:
Do you notice that you’re doing it or don’t you even realize it?
Acting like “cheap jewelry” means:
- Not valuing yourself for what you are.
- Allow others to treat you badly.
- Putting yourself last.
- Accepting everything to be liked or look good to others.
In the end, this means that you are NOT acting like what you truly are:
A precious and valueable jewel.
Ah, you don’t believe that?
Hmm, I’m going to have to be very stern with you.
Do you want to be treated well? Well, that has to start with you.
How can someone appreciate how much you’re worth, if when you look in the mirror you don’t see the jewel you are?
Instead, you make a list of all the negative things you see.
Could it be, perhaps, that you have a mental and untamed tyrant?
2 exercises that will help you to value yourself
The objective of this exercise is to be able to see the precious jewel that lies within you, because if you manage to see it, you’ll never mistreat yourself again.
You are a valuable being, even if you sometimes forget.
Take your phone and set the alarm to sound in 2 minutes.
Once you’ve set it, stand in front of the mirror.
Place yourself quite close to the mirror. Your face should be about 10cm away. (With an open palm, get your little finger to touch the mirror and your thumb to touch your face).
You may focus on one eye, but you can change your attention from one eye to another.
Your gaze may divert to your eyelashes, the shape of your eyes, your eyebrow, wrinkles, pimples… that’s fine. As soon as you realize, re-focus on your eyes.
If you’ve never done this before, it may take some effort to maintain your focus, but you have to insist.
And, once you manage to keep your gaze fixed, you’re not supposed to look at the eye itself, or the color, or the shape… you have to try to look towards “the inside”.
As if, through your eyes, you could see your soul, your being, your person. As if, behind that look, you could meet the other “you”.
And with this deep look, I want you to search for your jewel, that jewel that you are.
Come on, let’s do it.
I’ll do it too. We can do this exercise together.
Come on, stop reading and go do it.
How was the experience?
I hadn’t done that in a while, and it’s always nice to reunite with myself.
- What kind of thoughts came to mind?
- Constructive or destructive towards yourself?
- How did you feel?
- Were you able to see yourself as the jewel you are?
If this is the first time you do this exercise, you may not have been able to keep your focus, and much less see the jewel or the inner being that you are, so you’ll have to keep practicing.
In fact, some customers can’t even keep their gaze fixed on the mirror… because too many emotions come up, and not exactly positive ones.
But that says a lot about your inner needs.
If this happened to you, it could mean that you don’t treat yourself too well, so you’re going to have to work with yourself to learn to look at yourself with eyes of love and not of judgment.
If you don’t, you’ll be selling yourself for nothing and you’ll let anyone treat you badly.
Fake it ’til you make it
The objective of this exercise is to practice something that you haven’t yet mastered, so that it feels simpler with practice.
To perform this exercise, first you’ll need to imagine this:
If I were a jewel (which you are even if you don’t feel it yet) and I could see myself and live based on that personal value…
- How would I walk?
- How would I talk?
- How would I dress?
- How would I feel?
- What would I think?
Try to create a clear image of yourself in that situation.
When you have it, then follow the old English saying: fake it ’til you make it.
Acting “as if” will help you change some beliefs and create an alternative for your behavior.
And you’ll be able to stop acting like cheap jewelry so you can act like a true jewel.
As the jewel that you are, there are certain behaviors that you don’t have to endure, especially from those that don’t treat you as you deserve.
And there’s more.
If by changing your behavior and acting as a jewel, you meet people who continue to treat you like cheap jewelry… get out of their way.
Because you should only be with people who can see how you shine.
Never forget that!
One last tip
I read a book some time ago, which would help you a lot, as it has a lot to do with what I’m saying.
It’s titled: The queen who gave pumpkins to the knight in the rusty armor, by Rosetta Forner.
If focuses more on the relationships between men and women, but it’s quite good. It explains how to become a queen (or a jewel) and have the courage to act as one.
Because only by being a jewel (or queen), you can relate to other kings or queens, who will appreciate your value.
I know it’s not easy. I know. But you always have to take the first step in that direction to be well-treated.
And if you’re finding it hard to find the path, you can always count on me to help you. You just have to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Okay little gem?