In the previous article about Strategic Coaching, I gave you the guidelines to find your Redundant Attempted Solution, and analyze its two levels.
Have you done your homework?
In this post, we’ll continue to go deeper into the script or response that you usually always give when facing certain problems or situations.
Third Level Analysis
Evolved (or strategic) inabilities
- Strategic Inability: means that, when facing the same kind of problems, you don’t find the right strategy, even if you try it you can’t act in any other way. You don’t have enough resources.
- Inability of action: you know what you have to do, but you can’t put it into practice. You want to follow an action that you know will solve your problem, but you can’t. You are blocked.
- Inability of constancy: in this case, you know what you have to do, you can do it, but you can’t maintain it. There’s no consistency in the applied solution.
- Inability to manage side effects: Even if you can overcome all the other inabilities, you don’t know how to handle its side effects, and therefore can’t carry it out and maintain strategies that would solve the problem.
To understand this better, here’s an example.
Imagine you’re having problems with your partner.
- You have no idea what to do to fix them. You don’t know where to start or what’s causing the problems between you both (Strategic Inability)
- You’ve decided to leave your partner, but can’t, so you put up with it, and keep going. (Inability of action)
- You decide to leave and say it, but the next day you feel terrible about it and go back to him. (I.Constancy)
- Imagine you clearly want to leave your partner, you know that you can tell them and maintain your decision, but you have a child in common. Without knowing how to handle the child issue, you don’t act and so you stay where you don’t want to be. (I. to manage side effects)
They’re the basis of evolved incompetences and are more primitive.
- Inability of feeling: when you avoid feeling so you don’t suffer, you deceive yourself and believe your own excuses.
- Inability of reacting: when you feel ok but can’t react to what is happening to you.
- Inability of not reacting: this is opposite to the one to above, in moments where it would be better not to react, for example, be quiet, you can’t keep your mouth shut.
Let me give you some examples, to make this clear:
Imagine that your partner has been unfaithful:
- You trick yourself into thinking that ” it must be your imagination” or “your friend probably saw someone who wasn’t your partner” to avoid feeling the pain of accepting what infidelity means. (I. of feeling)
- You’re devastated by the pain your partner’s infidelity has caused but you’re unable to act in any way. You feel blocked. (I. of reacting)
- You get very angry with your partner, you tell everyone, your family, your friends, in other words you make a scandal without actually making any decision. So all your reaction does is make the situation worse (I. not reacting).
The main objective of Strategic Coaching is to find what your basic feeling is.
Many behaviors involve background emotion.
This basic feeling must be managed effectively in order to change your scripts or at least make them more flexible.
According to Brief Strategic Therapy there are 4 basic emotions, from which all your emotions emerge.
The idea is to analyze the different levels of RAS to reach your basic feeling, and thus use the right strategy.
If you get to the bottom of it and change your perception, you could change your reaction or automatic script.
And this is achieved with what’s called “corrective emotional experience“, in other words strategic coach will try to lead to provoke an experience that will make you “feel” differently.
When you feel differently, you can change the perception you had of that problem or situation and, then, you be able to change the way you think about your problem.
Thus through Strategic Coaching I can help you change the kind of scripts that come automatically, to change the type of relationship you have with:
- the world
If you’re tired of always responding in the same way, go ahead and email me firstname.lastname@example.org