How long have you been wanting to change things in your life but didn’t achieve it?
How much more time needs to pass before you realize that there are things that, no matter how much you read on the matter, you won’t be able to do alone?
I have read a lot, psychology, self-help, finance books… but what used to happen is that I read, I got super excited while I was reading, and then once I finished the book… I forgot all about it…
Was I achieving what I wanted?
Perhaps a bit, but not much.
In this article, I’ll tell you why it’s important to invest in yourself and hire a psychologist-coach or any professional in the field to be able to change your life.
Why invest in yourself?
It’s curious that some people still ask themselves this question.
Allow me to ask the opposite question: Why shouldn’t you invest in yourself?
- Have you realized that YOU are the most important thing in your life?
- Are you aware that whenever you invest in yourself you grow as a person?
Notice that if you want to work as a doctor, you need to PAY for training. You’ll need to invest some time and energy to prepare yourself, so you can look after your future patients.
If you want to have an elastic and muscular body, you’ll need to PAY for a gym or personal trainer + a dietitian and you’ll need to take the time to do the exercises that they send you.
All this is a process, and will require time.
So now allow me to ask you:
Why is it so hard for you to invest or PAY a professional to help you develop as a person, manage your emotions or achieve your goals?
Isn’t it just like the previous two examples?
Yes, it is.
However, you don’t see it like that.
And I understand, because at the beginning, it was also hard for me to see the difference.
You’ve been taught to believe that you need to keep going by yourself, without help.
But if you think about it, it doesn’t make sense.
Why can you pay a personal trainer to model your body but can’t pay a professional to help you feel better?
I believe that it’s a matter of values and priorities and, a lack of emotional education.
We would need to educate children on the importance of emotional intelligence, possibly at school, because they’ll need it to deal with several moments in their lives.
What does a psychologist-coach do?
A psychologist-coach uses the Coaching methodology and knowledge tools from different psychological approaches.
This creates an explosive mixture that will help you achieve what you want to do.
As a psychologist, I’ve specialized in Personal Coaching or Life Coaching with the intention of helping people develop their potential and create the life they want for themselves.
Many people want to achieve a goal but are blocked by an emotional issue that prevents them from achieving it. Being a psychologist as well as a coach has given me a lot of tools that can help unblock a person, so they can continue moving forward.
Clearly, every case is unique, but I’d like to tell you how a psychologist-coach can change your life.
These are some of the things that work by mixing Coaching and Psychology.
Definition of options
Each time you set a goal for yourself, there are different ways to achieve it.
This stage consists of analyzing all the possible options that you can execute to achieve your goal.
Imagine facing many doors and, each door takes you on a different path towards your goal, then, you’ll need to evaluate:
- Which door do you have to choose to go the fastest way?
- Which door or path scares you the most?
- Which is the most difficult/risky option?
- Is any of them more exciting?
- Which one do you feel the safest with?
All options have advantages and disadvantages that’s why you need to analyze them separately.
For example, imagine you’re bored or tired of your work and would like to create your own company, but have a mortgage, a family, a car to pay…
Start asking yourself the previous questions to assess your options:
What is the fastest way to start your own company? Leaving your work, for example.
If you leave your job, how can you cover your current expenses? You’ll need an alternative source of income or for whatever you do to give you money quickly.
Thus, the option of leaving your job would be quicker because you’d have more time to devote to your venture, but it’d also be the riskiest one, because if you don’t start generating an income within a short time, you won’t be able to cover your expenses.
Another door, road or alternative could be deciding to move to a cheaper flat for a while and selling your car, which will lower your expenses, and even though it might not be the most exciting option, it may be the most bearable.
What other options could “facilitate” your desire to become an entrepreneur?
We need to assess each and every one of these options because some of them could lead to unplanned collateral effects.
I remember I had a client who worked as an executive in a multinational, he made a lot of money. His house was full of luxuries but he didn’t feel fulfilled. Well, he decided to quit his job and start giving snowboard lessons. His wife had “become accustomed” to a series of luxuries that, with his teacher salary, he could no longer afford. This led them onto a stage of fights and conflicts that depressed my client. Finally, they split up.
Clearly, many factors are at stake here, but what I want to convey is that you need to take many variables into account before making any decisions that could later lead to bad repercussions.
I can also give you my example. When I came to Sweden, I thought that “writing my blog” would help sell my psychotherapy services and that I could live from that… I had no idea how an online business worked or what I needed to sell stuff online. As you can imagine, I spent all my savings and didn’t sell anything.
Was betting «only» on the blog a good option? In my case, no.
I know that the burden of a job, the desperation or the frustration of not feeling fulfilled in your job can push you to make hasty decisions.
It’s okay to make decisions, but you need to do it while having a general perspective. And besides, I’d add, you need to have a plan.
Capabilities and blocks
When you want to change some aspect of your life, you need to ask yourself if the training and capabilities you have will allow you to take that leap or make that change.
Because if not, you’re going to need to allocate some time and money to train yourself.
And even if you have the capabilities you need, other things may block you.
Beliefs that limit you
One of the most difficult parts of working is limiting beliefs, because they’re
usually hidden in the subconscious and aren’t easy to access.
These limiting beliefs may be preventing you from taking any steps towards your goal because at
some point in your life someone told you or you believed that:
- «You can’t do it»
- «You aren’t able»
- «It won’t work»
- «You’re not/don’t know enough »
This last belief has led me to a maelstrom of training, because I never felt that I knew enough to launch myself into anything, so I trained and trained, but never got anywhere.
And worst of all, if you don’t stop to analyze those beliefs, you won’t realize you have them!
Time goes by but you don’t do anything different.
2. Emotional blockages
The relationship you have with yourself can be, in itself, a limitation, because instead of supporting yourself, you criticize yourself. A constructive internal dialogue, that encourages you and helps you manage your emotions, will unblock you so you can continue to act.
Although it could also be your relationship to another person that blocks you. Imagine that you have a partner or a group of friends who, as it’s said today, are “toxic” and of course, they spend the day filling you with their negativity and blacked vision of life.
Being constantly surrounded by such an environment, lowers your energy, which is why you can’t change anything in your life.
Who could help you?
As you’ve already noticed, realizing what’s blocking you isn’t easy, so you’ll probably need help.
And it needs to come from you.
You need to believe in yourself, in that you can achieve what you want and that it depends on you.
Remember, we cannot change what happens or other people.
Then, you need to search among your acquaintances or contacts.
Who do you know who could guide you or help you with your objective?
Friends, teachers, bosses, colleagues, fellow students, family…
Nowadays, you can contact anyone in a second through social networks, so, I’m sure there’s someone who can give you the advice you need, that contact, that information…
And finally, but even more importantly, you need to seek professional help.
In this case a psychologist-coach can help you walk the path and guide you in those moments when you get stuck or blocked. And it will a lot of moments.
I have invested a lot of money in psychologists, therapists, coaches, etc. and it’s the best investment I’ve made in my life.
If it has helped me so much, I know it can also help you. You won’t be alone, and you will have the help you need.
Complement the information you have
- Do you have all the information you need to dive into your project?
- Are there any gaps in your knowledge or skills preventing you from seeing the right path for each option?
- Do you need to complement the information you have to fill those gaps?
- Where can you find that information?
- Support group
Allow me to continue with my example, in the last 3 years I’ve had to learn about WordPress, plugins, email marketing, infoproducts, business systems… and I learned all the information I didn’t know from watching video tutorials, taking courses from experts, reading books and hiring professionals.
In your case,
- What do you need to know?
- What information do you need?
Finding information is as important as first defining what you really need to know, because otherwise you’ll spend hours and hours looking for information that you may not need RIGHT NOW, to take the next step.
I’m also an expert on this subject. Because I trained in things I didn’t need… anyways, thank goodness you learn from everything.
Choosing the best option
Once you’ve evaluated your options, unblocked your emotions and obtained the information you need, you can choose the best option.
But wait, more fears will come, more resistance, more doubts, more worries or more insecurities about your skills and knowledge.
At this time, if you have a mental tyrant you haven’t worked on, it’ll come to stop you and tell you things like:
- «Noooooo, don’t even think about doing that, you’re going to crash»
- «You aren’t ready yet»
- «You don’t have what it takes to start »
- «You will lose your family and everything you have»
In these cases, having a psychologist-coach will be great to continue working on these blockages, that way you won’t feel alone in the process, and they can also guide you on the steps that any professionals prescribe.
Even so, you may need to re-think your decision and re-evaluate whether the chosen option:
- Matches your values in other areas of your life?
- Will cause unintended consequences in other areas? And, if so, do you want to keep going, despite it?
- Will it unbalance other aspects of your life? And, if so, how can you re-balance them?
- Is it the best option and the one that adapts to what you want to achieve?
Finally, some important questions that will help you carry out the actions that you need to take to achieve your goal.
A change process is an exciting process because of everything that moves within you and because of who you become in the process, so I advise you to find a psychologist-coach to accompany you.
And, if you want it to be me, just click here to get more information.