Have you ever wondered what you feel about yourself?
Having low self-esteem implies that the feeling you have about yourself, is quite negative.
Sometimes, self-esteem with self-concept is confused.
So I try to differentiate in a very simple way:
- Self-concept It is a mental assessment I make of myself. That is, what I think of me.
- Self-esteem is an affective or emotional assessment of me. That is, do I feel about me.
Sometimes, what you think and what you feel about you, do not correspond.
You may think you’re smart, but deep down, you feel silly.
And, do you think it is stronger, mentally or emotionally?
Indeed, the emotional.
Another way to understand the concept of Self-esteem is by comparing the image of the person you would like to be (ideal self), with the image you’ve been forming about yourself (I thought) in different real-life situations.
The more like is the image you perceive of yourself in real situations to the ideal image of how you want to be, you will not have problems self-esteem.
However, if there is a difference between those two perceptions, then you can probably have low self-esteem.
To avoid the latter, here I leave some tips:
1. Connect your thinking with your emotion:
If low self-esteem is determined by a lot of negative thoughts about yourself, of course, you will have to change all those criticisms you do you,
It is useless to repeat yourself a hundred times “I am intelligent and beloved” if you feel silly and unloved.
And for the record I’m not saying you’re not dumb, nor anyone you want.
You might be a little silly … for some things, and very clever, for others.
You may have many people who love you, but you’re unable to see them, or feel your love.
Therefore, you have to find something that can be taken as true.
One option would be investigating how it is that you think: “You’re stupid” and/or “nobody wants”.
What is the “excuse” or “cause” you give to you, for such a claim?
Maybe they told you was something small?
Have you ever felt alone and therefore affirm that “nobody wants”?
What do you tell yourself?
Think a little …
2. Do not believe everything you accounts:
Once you have located your “answer” (probably be a belief or a very old thought), you have to rethink their veracity.
Imagine when you were little, when you could not do something, you say, “how stupid”.
This little phrase, repeated in different situations and over the years became a belief and then, they were not your parents or siblings who told you, but you yourself.
And while you’re able to, rationally, to realize that it is false.
Believe it or not … maybe internally, follow feel that is true.
And that’s what we have to change.
You agree with me?
3. Change your feelings:
Well, there are several ways.
- Put question your thinking: When you said you were stupid? What is for you to be stupid? What evidence is there that it be? In what you base?
- Change the thought : begins to bombard with alternative thoughts that demonstrate the falsity of your belief, or who believe in you, more positive another image.
- Act differently (as if): Imagine you’re a smart person … What would you do differently? How you would walk? What would you say? What would you think? And acting “as if”
- Change your perception: Since when being silly is “bad”? Do not you think being silly for some things has its benefits?
- Accept part of the statement: yes, I am a little silly, it’s true … so what? It is that everyone has to be ready? What is the problem being a bit silly?
4. Compensates good for the not so good:
It is clear that we all have better and worse.
For now it is your weaknesses offset by the strong.
… I’m not that smart, good in a particular activity, timely … as I would like, but I’m a nice, nice, nice person, open-minded …
You do not have to be the best, not the number 1 for anyone, but it can be, for yourself.
This is achieved when you put yourself first, and you value the positive things you do have.
5. Thank how things are now and you’ve got:
As you are now, you’re fine.
Everyone can grow and change, and for that, you have a life ahead.
But has to start from the basis that you are already well, NOW.
If you’re like you are today, it is the accumulation of a lot of things, situations, ideas, people, circumstances, etc.
With the knowledge you’ve had so far, you’ve done the best you could or known, is not it?
And probably you’ve achieved a lot.
So stop judging, blaming or criticizing.
You will not get more than decrease your self-esteem and your value.
Accept your being as it is now.
6. Imagine an improved version of yourself:
Assuming that at this moment are the best version of yourself, what do you not like about you that needs to change?
What kind of person would you have to become to be the improved version of you?
Try to realize the most of what changes you need to do to become that person you’d want are.
And with this you get the difference between you and your Ideal is very small, causing an increase in your self-esteem.
Avoid low self-esteem is to do simple things, but we forget. So I hope with this post, I have refreshed your memory.
Self-esteem issues are those that “do not look” outside, but inside we hurt a lot, so do not suffer in silence and remember that you deserve to feel good.
Practice these strategies and if you do not get one, please contact me. There are moments in life when the help of a professional, you can be the step that you need to stop suffering. Do not pass alone.