There are moments in life when events shake you so much that you feel beaten down.
For those moments, I will advise what works for me: Connect with your core, when the situation overwhelms you.
In this article I’d like to explain the importance of “focusing” on yourself, of focusing your attention on the Being that you are, so you can find some inner peace, in the hardest moments.
There are thousand things that can remove you from your core:
- personal problems
- work problems
- emotional complicated situations
- arguments with close relationships
and depending on what happened to you, the possibilities of doing something, of changing the situation may be minimal.
Or when the issue is due to another person’s behavior, there’s little you can do to change them.
Yes, you can always change yourself, but first, you’ll need to connect with your core, so you can figure out the best strategy calmly.
When the situation overwhelms you
Some situations or people can destabilize your emotional state in a matter of seconds.
Or in a matter of weeks, the fact is that, once the situation overwhelms you, you can no longer think clearly.
Generally, your emotions overtake you.
Especially, rage or impotence, for not being able to do anything to change the situation.
Your mind becomes obsessive.
You can only think of one thing, over and over again.
And with every thought you have, your level of anger, frustration, pain increases…
Preserving those thoughts and feelings, causes the body to generate certain hormones and, as a consequence, your stress levels begin to increase.
There comes a time when your physical, mental and emotional imbalance is so great that, if you don’t reconnect with your core, you could even get sick.
Connect with your core
Connecting with your core is very simple, but since no one has explained how to do it, you may not do it just because you don’t know how.
So here are a few ideas to make the process easier.
1. Stop and take a deep breath
When the situation overwhelms you, the first thing to do is STOP.
Stop doing things for a moment.
Inhale deeply… exhale slowly…
With each breath, imagine your body loosened due to air that enters through your nostrils, and release any tensions that may be in it.
Take a few deep breaths and try to relax.
In the next 5 or 10 minutes you don’t have to do anything.
You don’t have to go anywhere, nor do you have to put our any fires.
Take those minutes just for yourself.
And focus your attention on your breath.
Inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale…
2. Identify and acknowledge your feelings
How do you feel?
What are you feeling right NOW?
All your feelings are good.
Whichever they are.
You’re not here to judge them, nor to judge yourself.
But recognize what you feel, because YOU are feeling it, and just what makes it important.
Open to that feeling and let it be expressed.
I repeat: any feeling you have is welcomed.
3. Accept what you can’t change
Even though it’s hard to accept that there are some things you can’t change, it’s true.
And denying it won’t help you at all.
Can you change another person’s behavior?
Can you change something that HAS ALREADY happened?
So stop fighting the impossible.
On the contrary, ACCEPT IT.
Accept the part that you can’t change, the part that isn’t your responsibility, the part that isn’t in your hands.
And rest on that acceptance.
Based on that calmness, seek what can be changed, maybe it’s your attitude? Maybe it’s your way of thinking about it? Maybe you can do something to distract your mind?
4. Remember WHO you are by being in the Present
I don’t know if you know of Mindfulness, but it’s a method that scientifically demonstrates, how being in the continuous present, can decrease stress and suffering levels.
Jon Kabat-Zinn, who introduced this practice into the western medical world, defines Mindfulness as:
“Paying intentional attention to the present, without judgment”.
When the situation overwhelms you, follow the steps mentioned above and, after accepting your feelings and what you can’t change, make yourself be present.
Being present is nothing more than being attentive to the “WHO” that notices everything.
Put yourself in the Presence that observes, in the BEING, able to realize everything that happens around it.
Observe and recognize the situation you are experiencing, but focus on the present moment.
Here and now.
Without pretending to change anything.
Let your thoughts pass by, as if they were birds flying in front of you.
But try not to get hooked on them.
Just pay full attention to the PRESENT moment.
And stay there, connected to your core.
After 6 or 10 minutes, all that whirlwind that you felt at the beginning will calm down, and you’ll recover your inner balance.
While doing this exercise, the outside world loses strength and the inner world gains it.
You can do this little core-connection exercise whenever you want, but especially when a situation overwhelms you.
When I’m in a difficult situation, I try to do it at least once a day, because it gives me a lot of inner tranquility.
Anyway, my advice is that even if you’re not in a complicated situation, start practicing it so that, when the time comes, you have it at hand, which will make it be much easier to connect.
I hope and wish this helps you as much as it helps me.
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